What Do You Really Need to Buy From a Funeral Home? A Comprehensive Guide to Funeral Costs and Options

This guide aims to provide a clear and comprehensive overview of what you absolutely need to buy from a funeral home, what you can source elsewhere, and how to navigate the costs associated with funerals, cremations, and burials. We’ll break down the necessary expenses versus the optional ones, empowering you to make informed choices during a vulnerable time.

What Do You Really Need to Buy From a Funeral Home? A Comprehensive Guide to Funeral Costs and Options

Losing a loved one is an emotionally challenging experience. During this difficult time, making informed decisions about funeral arrangements can feel overwhelming. Many people are unaware that they have choices beyond what a funeral home initially presents. Understanding your rights and options can lead to significant savings and ensure the funeral truly reflects your family’s wishes and the life of the deceased.

Why This Guide Matters: Empowering Informed Decisions

It’s important to state upfront: this article isn’t intended to criticize funeral homes. The vast majority of funeral directors are compassionate, experienced professionals dedicated to serving families during their time of grief. They provide invaluable guidance and support. Many enter the profession out of a desire to help others, often inspired by their own experiences with loss. Funeral homes often handle logistics that would be incredibly burdensome for grieving families.

However, knowledge is power. By understanding your options, you can:

• Save Money: Funeral costs can be substantial. Knowing where you can shop around or opt for alternative solutions can lead to significant savings.

• Personalize the Experience: Funerals should be a meaningful tribute. Understanding your choices allows you to create a service that truly reflects the deceased’s personality and values.

• Reduce Stress: Making informed decisions can reduce the stress associated with funeral planning, allowing you to focus on grieving and supporting your family.

Understanding the Landscape: Funeral Homes, Cemeteries, and Crematoriums

The funeral process typically involves three key players:

• Funeral Home: Funeral homes provide a range of services, including preparing the body, arranging the funeral service, coordinating with the cemetery or crematorium, and handling necessary paperwork.

• Cemetery: Cemeteries provide burial plots and maintain the grounds. They also handle the opening and closing of graves.

• Crematorium: Crematoriums perform the cremation process.

Each of these entities has its own set of necessary and optional expenses. Let’s explore them in detail.

The Essential vs. The Optional: What You Absolutely Must Buy

To simplify the process, let’s start with a clear distinction between what you are required to purchase and what is optional.

What You Have to Buy (The Necessary Costs)

These are the expenses that are generally unavoidable if you choose to use the services of a funeral home, crematorium, or cemetery.

• Funeral Home Basic Services Fee: This is a non-negotiable fee that covers the funeral home’s essential services, including:

  • Funeral planning and coordination.

  • Arrangements with the cemetery or crematorium.

  • Obtaining necessary legal documents (death certificate, burial permit, etc.).

  • Administrative tasks.

  This fee compensates the funeral home for their time, expertise, and the use of their facilities.

• Cremation Fee (Crematorium): If you choose cremation, this fee covers the actual cremation process.

• Cemetery Plot (Cemetery): If you choose burial, you’ll need to purchase a burial plot. The cost varies widely depending on location, size, and the cemetery’s prestige.

• Grave Opening and Closing Fees (Cemetery): This covers the cost of the cemetery staff digging and filling the grave.

• Perpetual Care Fee (Cemetery): This fee contributes to the ongoing maintenance and upkeep of the cemetery grounds. Some cemeteries include this in the plot price, while others list it separately.

In Summary: These five items represent the core expenses you’ll likely encounter. Everything else falls into the “optional” category, offering opportunities to save money and personalize the service.

What You Don’t Have to Buy (The Optional Costs)

This is where you have significant control over your spending and the ability to tailor the funeral to your specific needs and preferences. Remember, you are not obligated to purchase these items or services from the funeral home.

• Body Transportation: The funeral home will offer transportation services, but you can explore alternatives.

• Embalming: Embalming is rarely legally required. It’s primarily for cosmetic purposes and preservation if there will be a viewing.

• Casket: You have the right to purchase a casket from a third-party vendor.

• Casket Liner or Vault: While most cemeteries require these to prevent ground subsidence, you can often source them elsewhere.

• Cremation Urn: The funeral home will offer urns, but you can purchase one online or from another retailer.

• Cremation Urn Burial Vault: Similar to casket liners, these are often required by cemeteries for urn burials, but you can shop around.

• Headstone, Grave Marker, or Monument: You are not obligated to purchase these from the funeral home or cemetery.

• Flowers and Decorations: You can arrange your own floral tributes and decorations.

• Venue Rental: You can choose a venue other than the funeral home for the service.

Diving Deeper: Exploring Each Cost Element

Let’s examine each of these cost elements in more detail, providing you with the information you need to make informed decisions.

1. Funeral Home Basic Services Fee: Understanding Its Value

The basic services fee is the foundation of the funeral home’s compensation. It covers essential services that are often unseen but crucial to the entire process.

What it Includes:

• Planning and Coordination: Meeting with the family to discuss arrangements, preferences, and budget.

• Arranging Logistics: Coordinating with the cemetery, crematorium, clergy, and other parties involved.

• Obtaining Legal Documents: Securing the death certificate, burial permit, and other necessary paperwork.

• Administrative Tasks: Handling phone calls, record-keeping, and other administrative duties.

• Use of Facilities: Providing a space for arrangement meetings, viewings (if desired), and the funeral service itself (if held at the funeral home).

Why It’s Important:

While it might seem like a single fee, it represents the culmination of the funeral director’s expertise and time. They handle countless details, ensuring that everything runs smoothly during a stressful period.

Alternatives:

The only way to avoid this fee is to forgo the services of a funeral home entirely and handle all arrangements yourself. This is a significant undertaking that requires a deep understanding of legal requirements, logistical challenges, and emotional resilience. Unless you are exceptionally organized, detail-oriented, and comfortable handling sensitive tasks, this is generally not recommended.

2. Cremation Fee: Understanding the Cremation Process

If cremation is chosen, the cremation fee covers the cost of the actual cremation process.

What it Includes:

• The Cremation Itself: The use of the cremation equipment and the operator’s time.

• Basic Container: A simple container (often cardboard) to hold the body during cremation.

• Temporary Urn: A basic container (plastic or cardboard) to hold the cremated remains after the process.

Additional Options (and Their Costs):

• Casket for Cremation: While not required, some families choose to have the deceased cremated in a casket. This adds to the overall cost.

• Urn: You will need to purchase an urn to hold the cremated remains permanently.

• Transportation: Transporting the body to the crematorium will incur a fee.

Saving Money on Cremation:

• Direct Cremation: This is the most affordable option. It involves cremation without a formal viewing or funeral service. The body is transported directly to the crematorium after death.

• Shop Around: Contact several crematoriums to compare prices. Funeral homes often mark up cremation costs, so it may be cheaper to work directly with the crematorium.

• Decline Unnecessary Options: Opt out of a casket for cremation and choose a simple temporary urn initially.

3. Cemetery Plot, Opening/Closing Fees, and Perpetual Care: Securing a Final Resting Place

If you choose burial, you will incur costs associated with the cemetery.

What They Include:

• Cemetery Plot: The cost of the burial plot itself. Prices vary dramatically depending on location, size, and the cemetery’s prestige.

• Grave Opening and Closing Fees: The cost of digging the grave and filling it in after the burial.

• Perpetual Care Fee: This fee contributes to the ongoing maintenance and upkeep of the cemetery grounds.

Understanding the Fees:

• Plot Selection: Choose a plot that fits your budget. Consider factors like location within the cemetery and proximity to roads or other features.

• Opening/Closing Fees: These are typically fixed costs.

• Perpetual Care: This ensures that the cemetery grounds remain well-maintained for years to come.

Alternatives:

• Consider a Smaller Plot: If cremated remains are being buried, a smaller urn plot will be less expensive than a full-size burial plot.

• Explore Different Cemeteries: Prices can vary significantly between cemeteries. Research options in your area.

• Green Burial: Consider a “green” cemetery that may have lower fees and more natural burial options.

Shopping Around: Saving Money on Optional Expenses

Now, let’s explore the optional expenses and how you can potentially save money by shopping around.

1. Body Transportation: Exploring Your Options

The funeral home will offer transportation services, but you have alternatives.

Your Options:

• Funeral Home Transportation: This is the most convenient option, but it may also be the most expensive.

• Third-Party Transportation Services: Some companies specialize in transporting bodies.

• Personal Transportation (Proceed with Caution): Regulations vary by state, but in some cases, you may be able to transport the body yourself. This is a complex undertaking that requires careful planning and adherence to legal requirements.

Considerations:

• Distance: The further the distance, the more expensive transportation will be.

• Regulations: Be aware of state and local regulations regarding body transportation.

• Practicality: Transporting a body requires a suitable vehicle and physical assistance.

2. Embalming: Making an Informed Decision

Embalming is the process of preserving a body through chemical injection.

Is it Required?

In most cases, embalming is not required by law. It is primarily done for cosmetic purposes, to preserve the body for a viewing or open-casket funeral, or if there will be a significant delay before burial or cremation. There are exceptions in Alabama and Alaska when crossing state lines.

Alternatives to Embalming:

• Refrigeration: Refrigeration can preserve the body for a short period.

• Immediate Burial or Cremation: If there is no viewing or delay, embalming is unnecessary.

• Dry Ice: Can be used to keep the body cool.

Considerations:

• Viewing: If you plan to have a viewing, embalming may be recommended to improve the body’s appearance.

• Time Delay: If there will be a significant delay before burial or cremation, embalming may be necessary to prevent decomposition.

• Personal Preference: Some families choose embalming for religious or cultural reasons.

3. Caskets: Finding the Right Casket at the Right Price

Caskets can be a significant expense. You have the right to purchase a casket from a third-party vendor, regardless of where the funeral service is held.

Your Options:

• Funeral Home Caskets: Funeral homes offer a selection of caskets, but their prices are often higher than those of other retailers.

• Online Casket Retailers: Online retailers offer a wide variety of caskets at competitive prices.

• Local Casket Builders: Some local craftsmen build custom caskets.

• DIY Casket Kits: For the truly budget-conscious, you can purchase a casket kit and assemble it yourself.

Saving Money on Caskets:

• Shop Around: Compare prices from multiple vendors.

• Consider a Simpler Casket: Elaborate caskets can be very expensive. A simpler casket can be just as dignified.

• Rent a Casket: Some funeral homes offer casket rentals for viewings. The body is placed in a simple container for cremation or burial.

• Natural Burial Options: Use a burial shroud, plain pine box, or willow casket.

4. Casket Liners and Vaults: Understanding Cemetery Requirements

Most cemeteries require a casket liner or vault to prevent the ground from caving in as the casket deteriorates.

What They Are:

• Casket Liner: A concrete or fiberglass box that surrounds the casket.

• Casket Vault: A more substantial concrete or metal container that provides greater protection.

Saving Money:

• Shop Around: Compare prices from different cemeteries and third-party vendors.

• Consider a Liner Instead of a Vault: Liners are typically less expensive than vaults.

• Look for Cemeteries that Don’t Require Them: A growing number of “green” cemeteries encourage natural burial without liners or vaults.

5. Cremation Urns: Choosing a Meaningful Memorial

The funeral home will offer a selection of urns, but you can purchase one elsewhere.

Your Options:

• Funeral Home Urns: Funeral homes offer a variety of urns, but their prices may be higher.

• Online Urn Retailers: Online retailers offer a vast selection of urns in various styles, materials, and price points.

• Artisans and Craftspeople: You can find unique, handcrafted urns from local artists.

• DIY Urns: Some people choose to create their own urns.

Saving Money on Urns:

• Shop Around: Compare prices from multiple vendors.

• Consider a Simpler Urn: Elaborate urns can be expensive. A simple urn can be just as meaningful.

• Use an Alternative Container: You can use any container as an urn, as long as it is respectful and suitable.

6. Cremation Urn Burial Vaults: Protecting the Urn

If you choose to bury an urn, the cemetery may require a burial vault to protect it.

Considerations:

• Cemetery Requirements: Check with the cemetery to see if a vault is required.

• Shop Around: Compare prices from different vendors.

• Consider a Simpler Vault: Basic vaults offer protection at a lower cost.

7. Headstones, Grave Markers, and Monuments: Creating a Lasting Tribute

You are not obligated to purchase a headstone, grave marker, or monument from the funeral home or cemetery.

Your Options:

• Funeral Home/Cemetery: They often have relationships with monument companies and offer packaged deals.

• Local Monument Companies: Ordering directly from a monument company can sometimes offer better prices and more customization options.

• Online Monument Retailers: Some companies sell monuments online and ship them directly to the cemetery.

Saving Money:

• Shop Around: Compare prices from multiple vendors.

• Consider a Simpler Design: Elaborate monuments can be very expensive. A simpler design can be just as meaningful.

• DIY Options: Some families create their own grave markers.

8. Flowers and Decorations: Adding a Personal Touch

You are free to arrange your own floral tributes and decorations.

Saving Money:

• DIY Arrangements: Create your own floral arrangements using flowers from your garden or a local florist.

• Ask Friends and Family: Enlist the help of friends and family to provide flowers or decorations.

• Choose Affordable Options: Opt for less expensive flowers and decorations.

• Consider Alternatives: Use plants, candles, or other decorative items instead of flowers.

9. Venue Rental: Choosing a Meaningful Space

You can choose a venue other than the funeral home for the service.

Your Options:

• Funeral Home Chapel: Convenient but potentially more expensive.

• Church or Religious Institution: Often a meaningful and affordable option.

• Community Center: A more budget-friendly alternative.

• Private Home: A personal and intimate setting.

• Outdoor Location: A park, garden, or other outdoor space can be a beautiful setting for a memorial service.

Considerations:

• Capacity: Choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate the expected number of attendees.

• Accessibility: Ensure that the venue is accessible to people with disabilities.

• Amenities: Consider the amenities offered by the venue, such as seating, restrooms, and audio-visual equipment.

Additional Resources for Funeral Planning

• Funeral Consumers Alliance: A non-profit organization that provides information and resources about funeral planning.

• AARP: Offers resources and information for seniors, including information about funeral planning.

• Your State’s Funeral Board: Your state’s funeral board can provide information about regulations and consumer rights.

Conclusion: Empowering Informed Choices

Planning a funeral is a challenging task, but understanding your options can empower you to make informed decisions that honor your loved one while staying within your budget. By carefully considering the necessary versus the optional expenses, shopping around for the best prices, and exploring alternative solutions, you can create a meaningful and affordable tribute.