How to Write a Eulogy That Honors a Life: A Step-by-Step Guide for the Heart and Mind

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How to Write a Eulogy That Honors a Life: A Step-by-Step Guide for the Heart and Mind

When Mark stood up to speak at his best friend’s funeral, his mind went blank. He’d spent hours staring at a empty document titled “Eulogy,” paralyzed by grief and pressure. Then, he found a crumpled note in his friend’s old jacket pocket—a joke they’d laughed at decades ago. That note became the centerpiece of his speech. “It wasn’t perfect,” he said, “but it was him. And that’s all that mattered.”

Writing a eulogy is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But it’s also one of the most meaningful. Let’s transform that blank page into a tribute that feels true, tender, and uniquely theirs.


Why Writing a Eulogy Feels Impossible (And How to Start Anyway)

The Emotional Challenge of Writing a Eulogy – And How to Begin

Grief scrambles your thoughts. Writing a eulogy under that weight can feel like climbing a mountain in flip-flops. Here’s why:

  • Pressure to “get it right”: You’re not a professional speaker—you’re someone who loved them.
  • Fear of forgetting: What if you leave out something important?
  • Emotional overload: How do you sum up a lifetime in 5 minutes?

The secret? Start small. Collect fragments—a photo, a song lyric, a shared memory—and let them guide you.

[hint: see this exact TikTok video of mine here on how I get a eulogy written in record time]


Step-by-Step: How to Write a Eulogy That Honors Their Legacy

How to Write a Eulogy in 6 Compassionate Steps

Step 1: Gather Your “Memory Anchors”

  • Dig through old texts, letters, or voicemails.
  • Ask friends/family for stories (e.g., “What’s one thing they did that made you laugh?”).

Step 2: Structure with Heart

  • Opening: A favorite quote, song lyric, or shared moment.
  • Middle: 2-3 core stories that show their character (e.g., resilience, humor, kindness).
  • Close: A lesson they taught you or a hope for their legacy.

Step 3: Edit for Authenticity

  • Read it aloud. If it doesn’t sound like you, simplify.
  • Pro Tip: Use my Low-Cost Funeral Kit (includes a fill-in-the-blank eulogy template) to organize thoughts without overwhelm.

how to write a eulogy

I Could Never Do This” – A Story of Imperfect Courage

Writing a Eulogy When You’re Not a Writer – A Real-Life Example

Maria hated public speaking. When her sister passed, she almost declined to give a eulogy—until she found my Eulogy Writing Kit. It included:

  • Prompts like, “What’s a smell or sound that reminds you of them?”
  • A timeline tool to map milestones and quirks.
  • Sample eulogies for inspiration, not imitation.

Her eulogy opened with her sister’s obsession with burnt toast (“She called it ‘crispy love’”). It wasn’t poetic, but it was real.


FAQs – Your Eulogy Questions, Answered

How to Write a Eulogy – Common Questions Solved

Q: How long should a eulogy be?
A: 5-7 minutes. Short enough to hold attention, long enough to say what matters.

Q: What if I cry while speaking?
A: Tears are okay! Pause, breathe, and keep going. The room is on your side.

Q: Can I use humor?
A: Absolutely. Did they hate socks? Love terrible puns? Share it. Joy is part of grief.


Section 5: “What’s One Thing You’d Want in Your Eulogy?” 

If you wrote your own eulogy, what would you include? A passion, a regret turned lesson, a joke only your friends get?

Comment below with one word or phrase that captures your essence. Let’s celebrate life—together.


For you ⤵️

Writing a eulogy doesn’t have to be a solo struggle. My Low-Cost Funeral Kit includes a step-by-step eulogy template and writing guides to help you craft a tribute that’s as unique as they were.

👉 [Visit My Stan Store] to Grab Your Eulogy Writing Kit – Because Love Deserves the Right Words.


Hi, I'm Becca!

Make sure to grab one of my freebies and stay awhile. ☕️

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